Brittany Blair

Striving for Perfection

Brittany Blair
Striving for Perfection

Hello, friends. Happy Tuesday. Today I would like to cover a topic that most bloggers won't cover. As I'm sure most of you are aware, Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain took their own lives recently. My thoughts and prayers are with their families and friends. May they rest in peace. I have seen some absolutely ignorant posts and comments in regards to their deaths. I have bitten my tongue but enough is enough. There are people who are calling mental illness, "a privilege for the privileged." Are you serious? 

I am not going to sugar coat this post and I'm not going to beat around the bush either. I, myself, have attempted to take my life on more than one occasion. I am not proud of it and I don't want your pity. I had my reasons. However, it makes my blood boil to read such ignorance in regards to the way in which certain people chose to leave this world behind. Just because they have loads of money and material things does not mean that their lives were perfect. Quite the contrary, actually! You know the song, "Mo Money, Mo Problems?" I thought so. 

So often we are faced with this pressure to be perfect...more so today with all of the technology and social media that exists. These celebrities lead lives that are seemingly perfect but I promise you, that is further from the truth and you do not by any means know what happens behind closed doors. You do not know what demons a person is facing or what they are feeling and shame on you for judging them for their actions without knowing. 

Let me give you some examples of extreme trauma that could impact ones' decision on taking their life:

  • rape

  • physical abuse

  • mental abuse

  • loss of a loved one

  • PTSD from military action overseas 

  • physical pain

  • illnesses such as cancer 

These are just a few! I could go on for quite some time. The biggest life event that caused me to take such extreme action was the loss of a child. The pain I felt was and is so extreme. I can't possibly put the pain that I feel and felt about this into words. Sure, I have a beautiful daughter now and I am beyond grateful for my miracle baby but that won't take the past away and she'll never replace who I've lost. More often than I care to admit I can't help but think, "What if?" There are so many people including many of you who think that my life appears to be somewhat perfect. Wrongo. Now you know the truth. I never thought I'd share this but it's so important to talk about these things because it's when we don't talk about them that more suicides occur. 

More often than not we are pressured into hiding our problems and negative feelings and then they are bottled up and create this huge bottle of soda that's been shaken up intensely and is going to burst. We feel like we can't talk about what we are feeling because people are going to judge us including our loved ones. Every time I have brought up the feelings that have lead to my attempted suicide, I've been told that I am pathetic and weak. I've been told to stop dwelling on the past and to "suck it up." 

People like that are why Kate, Anthony and millions of other people are dead. They didn't have the comfort to be able to say that they were hurting and that they needed help. They were constantly pressured to be so perfect. I am not agreeing with their actions and I am not endorsing them but I sure as hell am not going to judge them negatively or change my opinion of them based solely on their decision to quit life. Something was obviously very wrong and they felt as if they couldn't fix it or speak of it. End of story. 

What is the moral of the story? LOVE your loved ones. BE NICE to people. You have no bloody idea what's running through their heads or what they've been or are going through. If someone you love confides in you about something, don't be so quick to judge. Be there for them. Help them get through it and gain access to the resources they need to battle whatever it is they are battling. If more people did this, there would be way less suicides. 

You are ALL beautiful in your own way. Know that you are not alone and that there are people out there who will listen to what you have to say. I am one of them. If any of you are feeling like this and you need someone to talk to who won't judge you, you are more than welcome to DM me on social media or e-mail me and I promise you, I will reply. God put us on this beautiful planet to prosper together. We are all creatures of God and we should all be there for one another. 

If you or someone you know is having suicidal thoughts, please do something before it's too late. 

The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is available 365 days a year, 24 hours a day. The number is 1-800-273-8255. Use the resources available to you and if you feel like you can't find any, contact me and I will help you. 

God bless all of you and please remember that you are so, so loved. The world would be a darker place without you and your unique beauty.